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Office Pest You too can be the office pest by engaging in any five of these activities....or if you have a fellow worker who does TEN or more of these items then hold them down and stick pins in them ...say "Voices in my head " told you to do it !!......many Thanks to "Librian star" for sending this to me
1. Shout out random numbers while someone is counting 2. Send email back and forth to yourself engaging yourself in a intellectual Debate. Forward the mail to a co-worker and ask him to settle the disagreement 3. Page yourself over the intercom. Don’t disguise your voice 4. Phone someone in the office you barely know, leave your name and say ..."Just called to say I can't talk right now. Bye" 5. Babble incoherently at a fellow employee then ask “Did you get all that,I don't want to have to repeat it" 6. After every sentence, say “Mon” in a really bad Jamaican accent. As in,“The reports on your desk, mon”. Keep this up for one hour. 7.Send email messages saying there’s free pizza or donuts in the lunchroom.When people drift back to work complaining that they found none, lean back,pat your stomach and say “Oh you’ve got to be faster than that” 8. Put decaf in the coffee machine for three weeks. Once everyone has withdrawn from caffeine addiction, switch to espresso, and snigger quitely while watching the results 9. Put your wastebasket on your desk. Label it “IN” 10. For an hour, refer to everyone you speak to as Bob. 11. Hang a two foot long piece of toilet roll from the back of your trousers. Act genuinely surprised when someone points it out 12. Announce loudly at an important meeting that you “really have to go do a number two” 13. Repeat the same conversation several times to the same person “do you hear that?” “what?” “Never mind it’s gone now” 14. In a male colleagues diary, write 10 am: “See how I look in fishnet stockings” 15. While an office mate is out, move their chair into the lift. 16. When someone hands you a piece of paper, finger it, and whisper huskily, "Mmmmmmmm, that feels soooooo good!. 17. Totally ignore the first five people who say "good morning" to you. Your too busy trying to walk sideways to the photocopier. 18. Wear a hat and hang a mosquito nett around your desk. When you emerge to get coffee, slap yourself randomly the whole way there and back. 19. Make up nicknames for your co-workers. "that's a good point, "Homer "No, I'm sorry but I'm going to have to disagree withyou Marge" 2o. Send a email to everyone in the company telling them exactly what you will be doing.For example "If anyone is looking for me I will be in the toilet" Send update every 30 minutes |
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